Information Meeting

The other day we went to the Information Meeting at the Department of Child Services to find out more about the foster/adopt process. The meeting was only an hour, and we both went in with a lot of questions, a lot on our minds, and a little nervousness.

The group was small which was nice, because it was more intimate and I felt more comfortable opening up about our situation, why we want to adopt, and who we are as a gay couple. Besides us there was a single middle aged woman, who wanted a child and didn't want to wait any longer to "find the right man", and a couple that was probably our age that have reproductive issues and adoption was there next step.

The meeting was held by someone who works with the the DCF and then another woman who is an Adoption Ambassador and has adopted two children of her own. The Ambassador I had actually met before through a former co-worker about a year ago that knew we wanted to adopt. We kind of didn't keep up the contact, so I never got the information then. But everything happens for a reason, and at the time that you are ready for it. I probably wasn't ready for this process a year ago like I thought I was back then.

It was nice to hear from the Ambassador and her story about adopting her children. It's great to hear from someone who has been through the process, and can easily offer you information and answer you questions.

My big question was about the timeline; what had to be done and in what order. We went over that a lot and that really eased my mind. Matt felt a little better after the meeting as well. One of the big things we learned was that the child gets free health care, and if fostering a clothing allowance quarterly. Not that we can't provide those things ourselves, but it was nice to know what we would have some assistance. There are also support groups for the foster parents, and for the families. It's comforting to know that they won't just hand us a kid and say "Here ya go, have fun!" It's nice to know that there is support along the way.

The big question we have now is if we want to go in for fostering or fostering to adopt. With straight up fostering there is a huge chance that they child will come and go, you will get attached, and there for your heart breaks a little each time it happens. I don't see how you can every strengthen your heart enough to not have that effect you. Obviously, the main objective of DCF is to get the parent the help they need to get on track, and to reunite the child with it's biological parents eventually.

With foster to adopt, you are giving some of the child who are in the worse case scenarios, probably already in the foster system, and there is very little hope that they will be reunited with their parents. This increases the chance that, if you bond with the child, you adopt them and they stay with you. We are leaning more towards foster to adopt I think.

So now we have to fill out the very lengthy application, and wait for it to be looked over, background checks done, and then a home visit is scheduled. We may have to wait on filing the application for another month or two, because we are currently living a one bedroom townhouse. We will be moving to a bigger place at the end of April, where the child will have their own bedroom. So the home visit will need to be done once we've moved, so they can verify we have space for the child.